Jennifer's Walk

This has been a strange week for me. I didnt plan on it being this way, but it turned out to be. I wont go into the details about exactly how or why or what led to this, but I have had a week of deep contemplation. Contemplation of how I got here to this place in my life. Why am I who I am...and  how am I not who Im not? See what I mean, strange? As I had really been exploring some of these things...things at the core of who I am, I discovered one of my first books, if not my VERY first book. Jennifer's Walk by Anne Carrier

Well....how appropriate????

I flipped through it and suddenly started to wonder if some of the ways I think about life and home and family and 'mommying' stem from this very book? There are sweet illustrations of a farmhouse and open land with fields of daisies and home and adventure (within the safe bounderies of the homestead). The story was of  a little girl's independence and the safety and security of her return home with open arms waiting for her....reaching out to recieve her. What I remember loving most about this book was the inside cover that showed the map of this girls "walk". Like little breadcrumbs...a bird's eye view. All of her adventures from beginning to end ~but showing the full picture!!! Looking through this book again made me think instantly about my life and all of my adventure's  and many mis-adventures too. About the dreams that I have been chasing all my life and have been so blessed to have many of them come true. Inevitabley it made me contemplate my 'own walk'. How my life's walk has become, by God's Grace, my Christian walk. How God has been leading me the whole way, even  before I knew Him. Preparing my steps and paving my way To Him. I just had to find the right road. That wasn't exactly easy...but it has been worth arriving at the destination.

                                           

My walk started in sunny southern California. There I grew up loving sunshine and how it feels on my skin  and how it looks on the water. I was born to love the ocean and mountains and being barefoot. I learned how to sing John Denver songs before I even learned to talk. I always loved babies and I am sure it started with my baby brother. In reaching back into the depths of my memories though, some things were scary to the little girl I was on the adventure through my young life. I remember walking to school in Kindergarten this one particular day (alone....UM...I guess I dont NEED to know why, but why?????? ) and  a group of three boys, big scary boys...probably 2nd graders, told me that I cannot walk on that side of the street any more and that if I did it again, they would  break  my nose. Well  you better belive I never walked on that side of the street again. I was terrified of their threat. I remember being so pre-occupied by the thought of them actually breaking my nose, that I know I worried about it ALOT. It's so strange to think about it 32 years later and remember that feeling of  fear. I also remember having to knock on the car window of my crossing guard to wake him up so he could get me accross the busy street. The feeling of being 5 and having to wake up the the person whose job it was to protect me from traffic was puzzling to me...even then. From an early age I got the impression that I had to be on my toes.

I also remember my mom being distracted. Sadly...but to be honest...it always felt to me like she was too distracted for me. She was sick alot. I remember her talking to me about dying. How if she died she would still  keep an eye on me and I would know she was near because she would "come back" as a bee and I shouldn't be afraid of bees, I would know it was her becuase she would land on me, but not sting me.  WHAT????? At the very young age of 5 or 6, when a little girl should be dreaming of growing up to be just like her mom, I remember thinking .....that is crazy. I was from that moment on, terrified of  (A) my mom dying and (B) Bees. She died when I was ten. I walked into the world of becoming an adult too young on that day. I assumed the role of  mother to myself  and my brother. Already my life was a winding road.

I survived Kindergarten and so did my nose. I survived the death of my mother~and I never had a bee sting. I survived Middle School and High School and my first love. I survived being a step-daughter and earthquakes and cross country moves and bad choices. I survived young adulthood. I walked into marriage at the very young age of 20. Then I quickly walked into the best years of my life when I was 21. No... not because I could finally drink~ that never held any allure for me~ When I was 21, Ricky was born. My first baby....my dream come true. My treasure...my reason for being born. To love this child, to be his mommy to be his protector and peanut butter and jelly maker. To be his cheerleader through life and walk him to Kindergarten....(no one was gonna be breaking any noses on my watch). 3 years later, Zachary was born. How could one girl be so darn  lucky????  I had two of  the CUTEST and SWEETEST baby boys ever, and they were the center of my life. Life wasn't easy by any means...but those boys made life worth living. This marriage road was a rocky one. At times a scary one. Eventually I had a choice to make and contemplated with much fear which road to take....and I walked  towards the road to PEACE.

It was during this time that I discovered the identity of the still, small voice that had been guiding me and calling me and protecting me all my life. It was The Voice and The Call of my Heavenly Father and He was calling me to come and forever be protected and safe in Him. I have been on this walk with My Lord for 11  years now. I have learned to wait on Him. Hope in Him. Live in Him. Trust in Him. These things have not been easy. Discovering Him honestly was the easy part. Learning how to live for Him and re-define my life as His and not my own has not been easy. To put the pain down and leave it there. To search my heart and sift through my dreams, and find  the ones he planted there early on. To discover the ones to keep and others to leave  behind, has been a process. I have learned to like myself as I have learned to see myself ,with even a glimpse of how He sees me. I have sought Him out, and He has revealed  more and more of Himself to me.

He has taken me from being a scared little girl with a love for sunshine and a song in her heart, to a woman who is living the dreams He planted there before the beginning of time. He has set me on the road to eternity with Him. He has designed  me with a soft heart and a strong spirit. He has blessed me with a strong hand to hold and the safe protective embrace of my husband. He has blessed me with healthy wonderful children. He has blessed me with a strong network of great friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. My life is full and grand and perfectly mine. He has now set me on a path to be a mother to a baby girl on the other side of the world. With all of the mess that troubles this world and all of the hardship and heartache that infects this planet... He has designed a path for me to bring me closer to Him. He called me to be His and gave me ears to hear.

I have realized that I am not on this road alone, and I never was.


"Before I formed you in your mother's womb I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart."
~Jeremiah 1:5

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

~Psalm 139:16

The Latest News in TeunisLand

Well the date that we have been working towards for many months now, finally came and was assigned to our family last Friday. Teunis' are officially DTE ( Dossier To Ethiopia) on January 14th, 2011 for an infant girl 0-12 mos.We certainly still have a long wait ahead of us, but all of the paperwork, and protecting the paperwork, is done. It feels really good to finally be standing in line and now be able to focus on all  of the many things still to do to prepare for the life change of having a baby in the house again. We will be having a blast making a little baby girl room, of which my hubs has already started and actually almost finished. We will be taking a wonderful spring break vacation back to the Gulf Coast and thawing our from our wintery weariness and finally get some sunshine on this skin. We will be saving ,saving ,saving for the impending "To The Ends Of The Earth" journey for our baby girl. Mostly though, we are going to be looking ahead with wonder as we wait for ~The Call~  that tells us our wait is almost over and we have a daughter.

We look forward to posting the adventures of our  journey here and until there is more to tell, we ask that you continue to pray for the process and for patience for us.

~Blessings
Steve and Jen

Christmas Trees of Glory!!!

I am copying and pasting this blog entry in order to help raise funds for this project. Please read below.....


CHRISTMAS TREES OF GLORY

So, here it is. Your big chance to join with me and the folks at Children's Hopechest to impact the lives of 84 needy kids in Ethiopia.

~A shocking statistic. Americans spend 450 BILLION dollars year after year after year buying stuff each Christmas. Usually, the stuff purchased is a luxury item and often it is forgotten by the new year. This year, we have the opportunity to give gifts that matter and have an ongoing impact.

Trees of Glory needs funding to construct a barn to house 5 cows. The cows will graze the land that is at risk of being taken back by the government, thereby fulfilling the land use requirement and protecting the land. Remember, this land is a vital piece of property at TOG as it separates the school from an existing well. It's a pretty simple solution to the problem. One that doesn't sound very heroic. But, for people who struggle just to survive, this is an insurmountable hurdle and it will make a big difference for them.

That's where you and I come in. For just $1100, Hopechest can purchase the supplies needed to construct the barn. Hopechest has estimated the cost of each cow to be about $900. So, for about $5600, the land at Trees of Glory will be protected. This project will not only protect the land, but it will also provide a sustainable food source and good source of protein from the cows' milk and give the care point a potential income source.

While $5600 may sound like a lot, let's break that down a bit. Like I said, I'm not sure how many people read this blog, but even if just 10 blog readers made the commitment to pass this information on and worked to raise a tenth of the money needed, that would only be $560 per blogger. You wouldn't be committing to giving that much money, just to spreading the word, advocating for these kids and inspiring others to give a gift that really matters this year. If your blog reached 10 people who committed to spreading the word and encouraging donations, the need would be met if each of those bloggers raised just $56 each. So you see, if we all work together, the larger sum becomes much more manageable.

So what I'm really hoping is that at least 10 of my blog readers will respond and commit to advocating for these kids over the next month through your blogs, emails and/or facebook pages so we can get this money raised ASAP for Trees of Glory.

So here's how the fundraiser works. We're calling this fundraiser "Christmas Trees of Glory" because we want you to look at your Christmas lists this year in a different light. Think about your part of that 450 billion that Americans will collectively spend on Christmas gifts in 2010. Now this year, instead of going to Target or Toys R Us, do some of your shopping online by making a donation (of any amount) to the Trees of Glory Livestock Fund (all donations will be given directly through Hopechest's secure website).


You will then receive a gift card like the one pictured below (designs may vary slightly) and an envelope for each of the donations that you make. So, if you want to make a $5 donation for 5 of the people on your gift list (think teachers, co-workers, relatives, friends...), you'll donate $25 to Hopechest and then email me at jirvin79@gmail.com to let me know that you've made a donation (that way we can track the donations and make sure they are allocated properly to the livestock fund). Also include your address and the number of gift cards/envelopes that you need and we'll mail them off to you. The back of the card will briefly detail how your gift will impact the lives of the kids at TOG.

Pretty simple right?







To review:
Make a donation at http://www.hopechest.org/ / (go to the site, click on the orange GIVE button on the far right side at the top of the home page)

Under "Gift Information," click on "choose a fund" and select "designated gifts"

Then write in your gift amount (if you're giving gift cards to more than one person, just add up the total amount to be given and write it in the blank, then when you email me, just clarify the number of total gift cards needed-that will save you from having to make multiple donations)

Then (this is the important part) under the "notes field" be sure to add in the Trees of Glory Livestock Fund code which is "ET2119000 LIVESTOCK."

Finally, add in your info and follow the prompts to complete your donation.

Once you complete your donation, send me an email at jirvin79@gmail .com with your donation amount, your mailing address and the number of gift cards that you need and we'll send it out to you within the next few days. So that we are able to get the cards to you before Christmas, please make all donations prior to December 18th. If we have not met our goal by then, we will continue fundraising through other avenues, but the gift cards will no longer be sent.

I know that's a lot of information all at once. If you have any questions, please email me.

I'd also love for you to send me a comment if you are planning on posting this information on your blog or other outlet just so I can have an idea of who's participating. Feel free to copy any information posted here and encourage your blog readers to post it on their blogs so that we can reach as many readers as possible.

You can be creative in your advocating and even do other fundraisers of your own (ie. bake sales, garage sales, raffles....) to raise funds. The goal is to raise all of the funds. How we do it makes no difference.

I've been praying about this fund raiser for several weeks and my biggest prayer is that God will work in amazing ways and that all glory will be His.

Happy Blogging!!

Let's be the hope for these kids this Christmas!!!!!

Teunis Adoption T-Shirt Fundraiser starts TODAY!!!!

We are so excited to announce that our family has been selected by Wild OliveTees to be a featured family for an adoption fundraiser. How this works is, between 11/19 and 12/20 you can purchase Adoption T-Shirts at Wild Olive Tees and enter the coupon code TEUNIS1119.

They keep track of our sales and at the end of the fundraiser, they send us a check towards adoption funds. YAY!!!!

I dont know if any of you are familiar with this company, but their shirts are
wonderful, beautiful quality and such sweet designs with coordinating sacriptures. Please check it out by clicking the button here on the blog just to the right. These shirts make great holiday gifts too. Please help us spread the word!!!!!

As far as updates on our adoption status and where we are at, our homestudy is now in the hands of the state of Illinois and I am hopeful that the next few weeks will provide a little bit of movement. In the
meantime, we have this fundraiser and the holidays to focus on. I look forward to updating again very soon with SOME news of any kind. The next steps are so close and yet we cant take them just quite yet. Please pray for an extra measure of patience for me. I seem to get stuck between excitment and anxiousness and I am really trying to stay completely focused on God's timing in all of this.

All our love, Steve and Jennifer

Finally an update!!!!!

I have been hesitant to post updates here, as there hadn't really been any...and now there are a couple, so here I am.

1~We were finally able to meet our new social worker, who has finished our homestudy. YAY!!!! Last Thursday the 22nd, she came to our home and had lunch with us. We spent some wonderful time getting to know one another. She is wonderful, and after meeting her, I am just so glad that she is in place to ride out the rest of this journey with us. I was pretty down and dissappointed and scared, quite frankly, when I found out that such a huge change (our initial social worker who completed all of the homestudy visits, quit before he wrote our report) was happening in the middle of our homestudy. It was a real exercise for me to not completely loose it and to keep reminding myself that God is in control and He is directing all the steps of this entire process. Then we met her....I just want to say..... I love her. She is awesome and thorough and fabulous. I feel in such good hands with her. It is so clear to see He had this all planned out all along.  So now our homestudy is in the approval stage and just about ready to join the pile of other waiting papers resting up for the journey to Ethiopia.

2~Last Tuesday, the 19th, I ventured downtown Chicago to the Sec of State office to get two very important documents certified. These two papers are vital parts of our dossier. So, I made the drive and navigated my way through the busy city streets and parked on the 9th floor of a parking garage, walked two blocks and up to the 10th floor to the office that would certify my documnets. All was going great. Not even a line. I filled out my form and approached the window, the girl behind the window told me it would be 4 $. AWESOME!!!  Then........she informed me that they could not certify my documents. Our dossier cover sheet was worded in a way that she said was not appropriate. I explained to her how this is form is issued by the State Department and this is exactly how it needs to be for them. She insited that it was wrong and that I was going to have to contact them and get a different form. She was not very pleasant either.  I will tell you, I about broke down crying right there. But I opted to put on a smile instead and remind myself that God has this, ALL of this. So I went home and did some investigating. I called our family coordinator and she was puzzled and even tried calling that office herself, same story. The odd thing is, other families from Illinois have taken this very same sheet to the very same office and had NO ISSUE. So I decided to part with these documents and send them off to the Sec Of State office in Springfield with a cover letter telling them what I needed and a check for 4 $, and TA- DA........TODAY, I recieved the documents back, certified and perfectly ready to head over to Ethiopia. I dont know what the issue was with the lady at that office downtown, she was downright rude to me and apperantly misinformed. I guess God just didnt want her involved in our paperwork...and that is just fine with me. Again, I was scared and frustrated and nervous about the next step, but again...He led the way, I followed, and all turned out perfectly.

So now, we just wait on this homestudy approval, hopefully it wont be too long. I know this much for sure, it wont be one second sooner or later that He sees fit. That I can totally trust in and rest with. This journey is just beginning and I know that there will be bumps in the road. I am just so grateful to have The Very Best Navigator in the universe, steering us and leading the way. Leading the way to the perfect baby girl He has for us.

3~ And Last but not least...on October 20th 2010, Zachary became a teenager. 13 years have flown by. WOW, I have 2 teenagers and a baby on the way. I am beyond blessed!!!!

                                          
Father, thank You for loving me. Thank You for comforting me and helping me to keep my eyes focused on You and Your plan for our lives instead of being derailed by the roadblocks of life. This adoption journey is such an awesome experience and one that I am so grateful for You guiding us to. I pray Father, that You will continue to illuminate this path for us to see clearly the direction You have for us. I pray that You will continue to go before us and pave the way for the rest of this journey. I pray for Your Blessings on any and all people who are in any way involved in this process for us. The staff here in the states and over in Ethiopia. I pray for blessings and protection over our little girl's birth mother and father and whatever situations they are facing and enduring that contribute to the decision they make, to give this child up in order for us to love her and raise her. I thank You Father, for all of the friends and family You have provided for us, to encourage us and love us and celebrate with us along the way. My heart is overwhelmed with Love for You, and  I am so excited to watch and discover how You unfold the rest of this story in miraculous ways. Thank You for blessing me with fabulous teenage boys and for their hearts to being open and receptive to You. They are the joy of my life and I cant wait to see the big brothers they become to one sweet little sister!!!
In Jesus Precious Name~Amen

A journal entry........

Well there is still no real news to report regarding our little darling. I heard on Friday from our social worker and she said she hopes to have our homestudy report complete by mid-October. That is really it for the news. Well and the other part......we are REQUESTING A GIRL!!!! We were originally not going to specify a gender, but as we have been talking and dreaming and excitedly planning on this and that....we decided to put our request before God. We earnestly prayed for His blessing on our hope for a little girl. Things just started to happen and be shown to us that it is in fact OK to request a girl. So we are. And we are naming her Nevaeh Lee ( pronounced NEV-A-YA). Lee is Steve's middle name and then we will keep her Ethiopian name as her second middle name.

I look forward to having more to report next time. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and encouragement and excitment for us.